Genderphoria trans monologue in my neutral and natural voice
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
my overly dramatic story side wants to turn my emotions right now into some emotional anime scene. I'd be devastated from the reality of what I'm becoming. I'd stop walking towards the light and then start crying when I start to see what's on the other side, I'd say, no, I've had enough of being ostracized because of a gender I never wanted. And now you expect me to walk in a world where I'm supposed to accept this. You expect me to just accept going into a world with more alienation, discrimination, and danger. And I'd be like crying and tearing up as the road behind me starts to collapse, I'm supposed to reach the end. But now suddenly it doesn't feel so bad to let myself fall down. The people around me looked confused. They thought I wanted this my entire life. They thought I even thought that things wouldn't be that bad, that things would be different for me or that the truth isn't as grim to the point of self delusion. If I wanted to escape the darkness of quiet suffocation, that was my previous world, then why would I be content with the even more damning darkness in front of me? And then I'll see the lost souls on both sides who had to needlessly suffer because they ended up on the side that they were on. And then because I hesitated, I did indeed fall, I fell into a world of neither I've lost my sense of self and I became a soulless shell, motionless and suspended in the vacuum of space away from everything because I lost my conviction to push into the female world that I wanted so badly. I fell through the cracks and no longer had the power to move myself. I couldn't advance. I couldn't regress. I was just nowhere and unable to get out for the consequences of my actions, fueled by greed of wanting a perfect world for me where no discrimination will ever exist, fueled by my lack of conviction to achieve what I thought I wanted, always chasing the romanticized, perfect state of each gendered existence. I will receive the benefits of none by wishing for everything. I, in the end, received nothing. And then I'll be stuck in the perpetual void until someone finds me and shows me a reason to move again, to convince me to leave the comfort of the land of nothing. And yet my mom tries to tell me that being transgender wasn't really a problem. You mean not a problem for you to deal with. I'm a plant that has to choose between death through the slow wilting of neglect or death or being burned alive