Reginald and Beast Mock Podcast
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What's up everybody? This is Dylan from the Millennial suck podcast and today I'm sitting down with a couple of special guests. This is going to be Reginald long bottom and the so Reginald, how would you say you came across your relationship with the Beast? How did you guys meet? Well, that would be very interesting indeed. Uh in order to be able to tell you that we'd have to go back about 50 years. I was I was an astound doctor at the time and but they were not a fan of the experiments that I would do and uh came across the Beast. Um Well **** do not tell him the origin story. There is no need for that right now. Reginald Dylan ask us some other questions, will you? Alright? Origin story? Not cool. Now, I do wanna revisit You said Donald, If he does not hurry up with this interview, I am going to feast on his blood now now Beast calm down brother, calm down, let's hear what he has to say, my apologies Beast. I'll try to make this a little bit more snappy here. You said that they weren't happy with your experiments. What kind of experiments were you up to? Well go further in science? You have to have test subjects and test subjects I needed. Of course. So I took them Children. So Children you say about what age of child would you say? The age range that the test subjects could be would be anywhere from five years old to probably 15. What do you need? 5-15 year olds for in science? you see, you're gonna have that You're gonna have Science. That will make sense because of the age range, Right? The the science behind it. The science. That's why you want to know a cartoon characters. Reason for testing Cuban. Children Reginald. Let's just be honest with him. He needed the test subjects so that I could eat them. So you guys origin story goes back before the experiments. What did I tell you about asking about the origin story? Man? I'm just make any sense. I'm just trying to just uncover a few details. I'm not trying to dig too hard. I'm not taking too hard here, but beast. He actually prefers to be called Osiris, Osiris, Osiris. Okay, my apologies. Yes, that's my name. I gave it to myself. It seems like a human, doesn't he? I always started Osiris over there was a human but he says he's not. Oh, Cyrus. What what do you what would you refer to yourself as I may have been a human once in my life, but that was many, many moons ago. When you look into my red eyes, all you see is death and despair. I did notice to death and despair. I'm used to death and despair, luckily, so it didn't throw me off too much. But now I'm curious where, where are you from originally, Osiris and how old would you say you are if I may ask my age is nothing that you could comprehend possibly what you humans would consider **** is what happened to me literal ****. What is literal ****. Well, we humans have a lot of religions around the world that I am not a human any longer. If you will. So why would religion matter to me? Well, you said you came from what we would call ****. I just wanted to know if it was an actual place depiction of the fire and Princeton. My God, Reginald, why are we here beast? Uh, Osiris, I said, calm down. We're here for exposure. Don't you want people to know who we are? Aren't we trying to get our own cartoon? That's not the point. I'm getting tired of looking at this meat suit without feasting on him. Speaking of feasting. Reginald you and beast have of serious. My apologies. You've been cohorts for for quite some time. It seems. I'm just curious to know how many, if you had to ballpark it? People has Osiris eaten in the time that you have been friends? Are you friends? Would you call yourself friends, traveling companions? I doubt that. Big Oaf over there has any compassion for me, but we, it's a working relationship. Um, so you're wondering how many humans he has fed upon? Yeah, of curiosity. Or on the 2nd 123. Ballpark. Probably about 875 and a half and a half and a half. Is that half? Still available? The Bulgarian child. Oh, Cyrus. I'm just curious. Uh, I've never had the opportunity to ask this question. But are there a particular kind age origin Location of people that you prefer? The taste of humans would refer to it as very good veal. So you also eat cows. I said feel as in it's a young calves meat, correct? Yes. So there's your answer is how, how old are you? Just about to turn 30, disgusting. It's the meat to aged at this point. Don't get me wrong if I needed to, I would still eat you, but I would prefer not to. That's good. I appreciate that. Hopefully we can remain on those terms. We'll see how long this goes. How often do you need to eat that? All depends on the science that we do in a day and uh, on an average day, how much science would you say you accomplish? Reginald? I'm not sure how to answer this. He um, he doesn't complete any science actually. This, uh, I'm not even supposed to answer this. Well, we'll get down to the nitty gritty of it. This the experiments were not on the Children or the human sacrifice if you will. The experiments are done on our good old boy O Sirus here. You see Osiris seems to be of all intensive purposes are mortal and the benefit though, the society of medicine does not see my methods sane or fit for practice one day. They will see, they will see and they will all kneel and they will bow before me and I will be bestowed with all the medals in the medical community and I will be famous And they will also hold calm yourself. It's a working relationship uses me for his science and I get fed understood, understood. Alright. So got a got a nice professional deal. Worked out there. Now, what do either of you guys have any companions or romantic partners or interests outside of this relationship? There is only one of me in this universe. So I have no companions. Would I lay with a human only to eat them. I swore that away long ago when I castrated myself in an accidental experiment, accidental castration. May I ask what experiment you were performing? No, you may not. That science is not ready for the world to know about yet. Uh, it seems interesting to me that the the, the science you are prepared to share with the world involves the killing of small Children. Well, the eating of. All right. All right. I closed I I closed my testicles in the bathroom door. Nothing to do with science. Goddammit. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Reginald that that certainly sounds painful. I can't say I know the pain, but I can roughly imagine it. And I feel like Reginald was a shell of a man before I came into the picture and I thought about eating him as well. But again, I saw the potential for us to help each other and become traveling companions. Friendship is not a luxury that I need. So have you guys taken a any sort of break or rest from the science that you do? Do you guys go on anything? You might consider a vacation? We are constantly traveling. That's pretty much a vacation. Never get sick of the work. What work The science. What are you talking about? The science? What science that that you were talking about? Uh You just told me about a bunch of science that you guys do. What science are you talking about? Telling? We were just just having a whole conversation about the science. We were having a conversation about bands man. Yeah you started saying stuff like a cirrus beast. I don't know you were kind of going off and I thought you were tripping bro. These mushrooms are way too ******* good Dude, we eat mushrooms. Yeah we've been on mushrooms for like four days. No wonder why I have three personalities